READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
