i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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