why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
