I skipped work to stalk him.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
