id be glad to
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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