Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
