Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
