he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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