No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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