waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
