yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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