sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
