You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
