No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
