worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
