I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
