It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
