the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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