You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
