quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
