when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
