the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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