As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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