there's paper in my vomit.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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