alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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