apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
