Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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