i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
