Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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