Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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