Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize
