I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
