that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
