dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Help. Why am I so naked?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
