The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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