you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
