I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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