my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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