Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
