it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
