Don't make out with my wife yet
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
