Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
