As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
