all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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