I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
