So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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