He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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