Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
