What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Randomize
