I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
