I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
