I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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