Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
