Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
