Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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