great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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