Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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