do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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