So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
