yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
