and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You made out with two different species that night
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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