so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
