she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
God, I missed his penis.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
