babies were throwing up all over the place
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Randomize
