i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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