that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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