her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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