Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Randomize
