She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
