Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
