is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
